Lisbon Calling

Friday 21 June 2024

Dad’s funeral was on Tuesday 18 June.  It was very sad but joyful in strangely equal measures.  Arrived home that evening and worked the Wednesday etc.  My personal inbox, neglected from a month worth of “normal” emails, needed attending to, and the two evenings before we left for Lisbon were very stressful as I tried to fit everything in.  Eventually I logged off from work at midday on the Friday and we headed for Bristol airport.  

The M5, however, had various snarl ups so we went cross country via Glastonbury.  We made it through bag drop, security and boarding but I only started to chill once on the plane.

Lisbon airport to downtown Lisbon is smooth and cheap (€1.80) and we checked in smoothly to our super quirky accommodation Lisbon Calling.  Not sure about the Trump-esque print above the bed but the bathroom and lounge were wonderfully weird!

We ate out locally and, at last, time to chill with food, wine and, post supper, a river view.

Saturday 22 June 2024

JC rose up and was out early today to photograph a local funicular before the insta crowd got to it.  Meanwhile I slept.  On returning to the room at 0930 and finding me asleep he got all worried.  “Are you ok?” he asked?  “Yes I’m fine,” I answered.  “I’m just catching up on this year’s sleep.”

Once up and out, we visited a funicular, strangely called Elevador da Bica.

We finally had some breakfast and enjoyed strolling through the city admiring the beautiful buildings and streets.

We walked to the Elevador de Santa Justa which, at 45 m high, is the only remaining vertical lift in Lisbon (of this size).  We found the top and eschewed descending in it, saving our €6 each for something more exciting.

We headed for the Castillo de São Jorge and explored the old fort of Lisbon.  Amazing views of the city. 

To my great excitement we found a trig pillar up a tower, and then I found how high above mean sea level we were.

Sunny smiley day.

We wandered down to the cathedral and popped inside.  We started on the upper floors and I loved the stained glass and reflections on the floor.

The cathedral itself was ok.  Call me picky but I’ve seen more amazing, but it was fine enough.

I amused myself photographing JC and a dog.

We swung by a famous view point, the Miradouro de Santa Luzia.  Of course, it was packed, so not a lot of fun, especially as a cruise ship had berthed in front of the main view.  Tsk.

We wandered back up towards the castle, enjoying the Lisbon tiled architecture. 

Then it was up to Miradouro da Graça for a drink on the terrace before heading down some steps only to stumble across some kind of street art competition.  The white washed walls were being painted by some talented artists.  So great to watch.

We ended our day in an area called Interdente where a friend of our neighbour had a restaurant. Lovely meal chez Josephine.   

Now I'm missing Dad too

Dad has been increasingly poorly this year (see last blog) and started to decline further in May.  I decamped to his place on Tuesday 14 May and was so pleased to be there.  He was receiving care 4x a day, deteriorated daily and on that Friday, St Michael's Hospice stepped in to support us.  They are absolute angels.  The next week was an intense time of watching Dad pretty much 24/7, multiple care visits both during the day and middle of the night (carers, doctors, nurses), family (sisters, Keith, his boys for Match of the Day which he loved!), friends and work emails in quieter periods.  I felt so honoured that Dad let me be there in his final days.  Caitlin and Riona both came down, and Caitlin engaged Dad in a crossword when he wasn't napping.

When everyone had left for the day, I'd go up and sit next to him on his bed whilst he slept.  I'd take one of Mum's crossword books and chat to him as I solved the puzzles.  Such special times.  

Dad died as he wished, in his bed at home, in the early hours of Friday 24 May.  I was privileged to be there with Thai, his (and our) beloved carer, Caitlin (who had dropped back in on her way to Exeter) and JC.  Riona was on night shift so we gave her a call at 0230 for a chat and virtual hug.

Dad was lucid until the early hours of Wednesday morning - 2 days before he died - and it's been a shock to be chatting to someone one week and them not being there the next.  It was different with Mum, who disconnected with us years ago because of her dementia (so a different type of grief) but who died unexpectedly. I catch myself hearing of a landslide on the railways and thinking "I'll email Dad that" only to realise I can't.  I well up with tears when I come across a recent email of his.  

So now Keith and I are back again organising another funeral.  It is something when the funeral directors recognise you isn't it?  It's just over 5 months since Mum died and I'm nowhere over that yet.  And as Keith and I start to sort through the house it just oozes Mum and Dad memories.  There is a bit of relief that I no longer have to worry about Dad.  For around 2 or so years, since he had sepsis, we've received a daily "OK" email from him.  Those mornings when it hadn't arrived by 0730 made me nervous.  And if it hadn't arrived by 0900 I'd email him, or call.  It will take me a while before I stop worrying about him - I'm still waiting for that morning email.

Dad's funeral is later this month and we're writing his eulogy.  During this I've come across a mini-life story Dad wrote covering his time from childhood to early adulthood, a mere 47 pages.  His memories of life in the war, school and his car mechanic apprenticeship are detailed -  there are numerous stories of roads driven, types of Austin cars involved, double de-clutching etc - as is his time in National Service (Yemen and Kuwait).  He recalls driving around Essex with L plates in 1956 as the Suez Crisis halted driving tests.  

It's only when you read of a time gone that you appreciate how special a life was.  He was infuriating in many ways, and I sadly only really got to know him once Mum's dementia had taken hold.  But at least I had the last 5 years listening to him and sharing special times.  I am sad, but I'm glad to be sad - some people don't know their Dad, or don't mind him dying, but I do.  Thank you Dad x

The month of March (and spending a lot of time in Basingstoke)

I spent a lot of time in March in Basingstoke - 11 nights spread over 3 visits - due to my Dad being in hospital.  JC and I had driven up after work on Monday 11 March as his health was declining and he (my Dad, not JC) went into hospital on Tuesday.  So therein began a daily trek up and back to the hospital.

Caitlin came down at the weekend and we went over to see Dad.  Caitlin was pleased to find the rugby on!

We took ourselves off to Old Basing which neither she or JC had visited before.  Oooh, benchmark.

The next weekend JC and I drove up again.  This time Riona joined us as she was down visiting Exeter, so Dad got to see his other granddaughter. 

We saw family on Sunday and drove back to Ottery that evening.  I had booked Monday off to chill with Riona so we went to visit the Lower Otter Restoration Project to see the changes since they had breached the path.

On Thursday 28 March, JC went off to Luxembourg, so I hopped on the train with him and returned to Basingstoke.  I worked from Dad's home and, over the time I was there, managed to see him each day which was great.

On Good Friday I took myself off for a trip down memory lane.  I walked from Dad's via Brookvale where I grew up.  This is the park where I learnt to ride my bike (I recall riding into a tree at one point), and this is the house we lived in.

Basingstoke also does a pretty good line in subway decor.

St Michael's church, near the city centre, survived a bombing raid during WWII.  This is just as well as it has a beautiful old benchmark on it.  The very old ones have a nail in them: I think they were actually referred to Liverpool datum not Newlyn but that could be surveying hearsay.

This is the bike rack where someone stole the pump off my bike. I showed this picture to Robin and his first comment was, "my mate had his bike nicked from there"...  

The town centre had random lego animals dotted round which were fun.   I liked the baby elephant.

On Easter Saturday I popped up to London to meet two of my aunts, Linda and Maggie, and my cousin, Kate.  Linda and I had a stroll along the south bank and I was fascinated by the survey marker pavement party we found.  I've never seen such a high concentration of survey markers in one patch.  They were obviously for setting out, but you don't usually use the yellow markers for these.  

We met Kate and Maggie and ate a Japanese meal in OKAN.  Our post lunch stroll took us from the south to north bank where we passed Globe House.

Maggie took us to 2 Temple Street.  What an amazing place!  The wood friezes are scenes from Shakespeare plays.

Even more amazing was that there was a glass exhibition on too. This chimed very well with beautiful stained glass windows showing sunrise and sunset.  

On Easter Sunday Caitlin came down to keep me company, so we headed off to the Vyne for a stroll and their Easter egg hunt.  

It wasn't as exciting as I'd hoped but there you go - but we still had a lovely walk and talk. I think I've seen the girls more this year than I have for the last few put together which is fabulous.  PS.  If I install these in my house do you think anyone will at my beck and call?